In a world where life is at a premium, some people have this absurd notion that the world cares about them. In a world where life does not make sense, some people want to go over all that again and again.
Sometimes, try as I might, I simply can not forget. A certain voice, a certain face, certain moments. It's not the bad memories that ultimately get to you, but the good ones.
For every one memory that you manage to stow away into some remote corner, a hundred charge at you with a vengeance. It's a hard fight that requires all my gumption.
But the night with A made me think that it has all been well worth it.
"You were the weakest among us," she said.
"Really?"
"Yeah...you were so thin-skinned, so vulnerable. That's why it seemed so unfair to us that YOU should have had to face this."
Silence. We reminisce about old times, about lost innocence, of a time when love could only mean one thing. And somehow, the tears gather as they always do at such times.
We hug each other and watch the stars.
"But you know, now whenever I feel low about people letting me down, I think of you. We all do. You've given us hope."
"Hope?!?!? ME???"
"Yeah...looking at you, the way you've changed, the way you've grown in the last 6 months...and knowing the reason... it has made me believe in God again."
"Why?"
"I dont know...but remember how we were all hit when we first read Nietzsche?"
Oh, don't I just?!?!? My world fell apart.
"Yeah."
We giggle. What children we were.
"I lost God at college. But you are walking proof that God is alive."
"Uh huh?"
"Yes G, you were the weakling. But now you are the strongest among us. And we all know that you couldn't have done it on your own."
That's true enough... I couldn't have. Also true that for every one door that is closed, another opens. When I lost M, I found God.
It was and is a very unlikely turn of events. Very drastic. Very extreme. For all the so-called best friends I've lost, I've found others. Others, who will hopefully be more honest, more loyal.... And it feels good to have found my faith again after seven years....
All I can say is that .... there is something called as "Leap of faith"... and it matters.. " When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust him fully. Only one of two things will happen. Either He will catch you when you fall, or, He will teach you to fly...."
I suppose, unknowing even to myself, I must have grown myself a pair of wings in the last few months ...for how else do I explain the fact that I have learnt to fly?
Sometimes, try as I might, I simply can not forget. A certain voice, a certain face, certain moments. It's not the bad memories that ultimately get to you, but the good ones.
For every one memory that you manage to stow away into some remote corner, a hundred charge at you with a vengeance. It's a hard fight that requires all my gumption.
But the night with A made me think that it has all been well worth it.
"You were the weakest among us," she said.
"Really?"
"Yeah...you were so thin-skinned, so vulnerable. That's why it seemed so unfair to us that YOU should have had to face this."
Silence. We reminisce about old times, about lost innocence, of a time when love could only mean one thing. And somehow, the tears gather as they always do at such times.
We hug each other and watch the stars.
"But you know, now whenever I feel low about people letting me down, I think of you. We all do. You've given us hope."
"Hope?!?!? ME???"
"Yeah...looking at you, the way you've changed, the way you've grown in the last 6 months...and knowing the reason... it has made me believe in God again."
"Why?"
"I dont know...but remember how we were all hit when we first read Nietzsche?"
Oh, don't I just?!?!? My world fell apart.
"Yeah."
We giggle. What children we were.
"I lost God at college. But you are walking proof that God is alive."
"Uh huh?"
"Yes G, you were the weakling. But now you are the strongest among us. And we all know that you couldn't have done it on your own."
That's true enough... I couldn't have. Also true that for every one door that is closed, another opens. When I lost M, I found God.
It was and is a very unlikely turn of events. Very drastic. Very extreme. For all the so-called best friends I've lost, I've found others. Others, who will hopefully be more honest, more loyal.... And it feels good to have found my faith again after seven years....
All I can say is that .... there is something called as "Leap of faith"... and it matters.. " When God leads you to the edge of the cliff, trust him fully. Only one of two things will happen. Either He will catch you when you fall, or, He will teach you to fly...."
I suppose, unknowing even to myself, I must have grown myself a pair of wings in the last few months ...for how else do I explain the fact that I have learnt to fly?
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