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In turns...

I was a wonderful kid. I had energy, wit, sense and doggedness and a taste for blood. I have always let the sayings of my mind rule the things of my heart. I have fought the battles to the end. I have almost never given up. I was relentless.

Now it seems I am changing. I seek what I abhorred at one point of time in my life. “I know you much more and much longer than anybody else,” she says. “ You analyze way too much.” Yes, I know its true. I do. Everything and everybody has been weighed and found wanting. One “interest” after the other. Fine Arts? Sports? Politics? Gaming? Programming? Quizzing? Literature? Wow!!

It was the maniac in me that sought things, that could be mastered and I lived on. As the sheen became dull, the maniac moved on, but I could not. It has been a load, an overwhelming one. People think I am joking when I ramble on about things that I know related to the topic. I am trying to get sober, mature...

I am actually on my way to becoming a well-tuned human being!! Somewhere deep down, I’ve stopped expecting from people, learnt to make room for the fact that human beings are just a bunch of lost souls in a world that is too big for them, and that every person must find their own way home themselves.

I have started allowing myself space to make mistakes. I have allowed myself to go to sleep leaving tasks unfulfilled. I have slowed down considerably on the learning path. Why am I letting the fiery animal inside of me, die this death.

Come on... Once again...
This song was the thing that carried me into the new year.
Zindagi mein koyi kabhi aaye na rabba

Aaye jo koyi toh phir jaaye na rabba
Dene ho gar mujhe baad mein aansoo…
Toh pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba - 2

Toh pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba

Dil ke jo armaan the, dil mein hi reh gaye
Aashiqui jo kee toh ham, ashqon mein beh gaye -2
Gham ka fasaana hai, dard ye puraana hai -2
Itna bhi koyi yaad aaye na rabba
Zindagi mein koyi kabhi aaye na rabba
Aaye jo koyi toh phir jaaye na rabba
Dene ho gar mujhe baad mein aansoo…
Toh pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba -2

Ashq aankhon mein bhare hain, jigar jalta hai
Kya qayaamat hai, kya qayaamat hai
Kya qayaamat hai…
Bhari barsaat mein ghar jalta hai

Yahi sochta hoon kaise usko bhoolaaunga
Na woh kabhi aayegi na, usse bhool paaunga -2
Jeene ka thheekaana hai na, marne ka bahaana hai -2
Itna bhi koyi bhi sataaye na rabba
Zindagi mein koyi kabhi aaye na rabba
Aaye jo koyi toh phir jaaye na rabba
Dene ho gar mujhe baad mein aansoo…
Toh pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba -3
Zindagi mein koyi kabhi aaye na rabba
Pehele koyi hasaaye na rabba

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