Disappointment. The word actually is a joke. Looking at life in the bigger perspective, a person does not matter at all. Crazy, as it may seem, I am pathetically insecure at the thought of passing away unnoticed and unknown. Big words, Big Ideas and Big Attitudes. That I guess sums it up, for me at least.
All my life, I have imagined being purposeful and mindful of opportunities to learn. My parents always wanted me to try out new things, and do them on my own. They let me dream. Never did they force their wishes on me, and I kept learning. I learnt a lot. At least that was what I thought. Guess a few pages can sum them up.
Most of the stuff I did happened to me. Fine Arts, Quizzing, Sports, Mathematics, Computers, Research, Literature. I did them to the best of my abilities and I guess I did well. So when I did them and did them well, why is it that I am fumbling for the right direction? So where did I go wrong? I guess in two places. Knowledge and Reason. People dislike knowledge and People hate reason.
I won’t discuss this here. The thing that I am trying to reason out is the right view that one should take on life.
“Life is much more successfully looked at from a single window, after all.”
Nick Carraway in Great Gatsby is correct. Isn’t he? I had been one of the bitterest opponent of the view above and now am unsure as to how to react to this. It seems that specializing in a certain field is certainly smarter than being “well-rounded”. Being “well rounded” is like being Jack of all trades and master of none.
Recently I have been worried a lot about what should be the goal of my life, Is it good enough and will it be same all my life. Similar questions crop up at all times in my mind. I am kind of afraid to specialize, to let myself be restricted to one narrow zone of knowledge. But sooner or later, it has to happen that way. It is inevitable. Whenever I discuss this with my Father, his only advice is to take it easy and let it come to you. He encourages me to find more and more, read and imagine, learn newer stuff but I feel as if it is time that I find my field of specialization. Haven’t I dabbled into too many fields already?
“Well-rounded” is a word scorned in society today. Why be “well-rounded”, when you can be a specialist doctor, engineer, DJ and earn cool bucks. Most people find it advantageous to be a specialist in a certain field than being “okay in all fields”. Nobody wants a walking encyclopedia for a partner. It is just that time has come, when people are willing to understand one field to the maximum and let the rest of their knowledge deteriorate. Recounting an experience, a senior management personnel tells me that there has been a policy about recruiting in software industry. It asks them to recruit people with knowledge of the field and rest doesn’t matter. The worse the personality the better for them. Deciding between two people from the same college, a guy with a great personality and another not so great, they took the latter. Such a frank admission left me shocked.
“Well-rounded” has a connotation of having a personality and traits, being at ease with the world. Unfortunately, I do not think this holds true anymore. Most people I meet are not-round. They are of all shapes but surely not round. While they are at their work, they are masters, they seem omnipotent, but soon one notices their discomfort with the ways of the world, they are nothing but ignorant specialists.
So the question is “Is life much more successfully looked at from a single window or should one stand back from the window to enjoy all the beauty”
I imagine lying on my back, gazing at the stars and trying to understand life. I know I would not be able to fathom its mysterious ways, but I for sure know that staring through a single window can never take me nearer to the truth. You will always find me out in the wild with the whole world in my unobstructed view.
"Shoonya"
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