Skip to main content

Notes on Life

For lack of better titles, lets keep it really formal.
Bahut kuchh kehne ko hai. Bahut kuchh hai, bahut bahut hai. Koi sunne wala nahin hai.
Iska bhi koi gham nahin hai ki koi sunnewaala nahin. I am working through one of the most exciting parts of my life, professionally and I know it will never be the same again, So am smiling through the nights and early mornings. Savoring them like the last drops of rain.
I have been saving so many things I have beenw anting to write. But right now nothing takes control except the one thing that gives my life a definition and a meaning.
You know sometimes I just wake up int he middle of the nigth and wonder, wonder why it could not be more normal. What would that give me. Then I realized under different circumstances everytime, that it my way, my art of living and thats what makes me me.
I am subservient to no one, nothing precedes me, nothing lives after me and thats just me, quintessentially me.
All I want to say is that after a long long time, i sleep fulfilled, funfilled dreaming beautiful thoughts. Its the "umeed" that keeps you awake and that gives you sleep. Thats the way I am, thats the way I want to be and thats the way I had want to die.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Raizada Heritage Fund and Trip to Woodlands

I have a confession to make. We don’t have a sofa at home. We seriously don’t.. Over the last two years, whenever Vartika has broached the touchy topic of a Sofa buy, I have ended up doing rants on how the money saved on not buying a Sofa would be able to feed us for a month, in case startup went bust. (And no, I was not counting on dumb UPA government allowing Sharad Pawar to make billions running amok on the vegetable and cereals market and looting us. In that case, count that sum to last for mere 15 days. That rant is for a separate day) Imagine a 30-40k sofa and me eating it, like the borers mostly do. Tough to imagine and sad to think of. So I return to the sofa tales. Vartika knew I had make her do with those mattresses. You know how dumb I am, relentlessly pointless. Unfortunately I ran into an Ariean, and that too my Mom. She looked at me and the mattresses and then again at me, and I went ballistic. From the sensibility of an accountant, to the eruditeness of an economist (De

Can life teach?

It actually began, quite reluctantly. Unnecessary as it may seem, life teaches you what you allow it to teach. Even Life cannot teach you what it offers you. One has to let himself dissolve into the experience and let it sink in, and that I might call religion or education. Whatever the other person is willing to accept. Nay. Does it matter? Nay. Life is about teaching oneself. Being a self-thought-taught "person", picking up bits and pieces from various experiences, I tread on a path; I have myself laid out for myself. Never have I asked, in other words, begged for words, from "messiahs". Never did I think myself of having enough virtue, call it patience, to learn from others. So "rich" were my experiences. Things change, dynamically. Responding to an open question, throwing caution to the winds, I immersed myself into a debate, with people who thought, had streamlined their thinking apparatus and abilities. Gradually, they pestered; read "lee

The void...

I feel empty. I feel raw. I feel rotten. I feel like not feeling. I have nothing to show, if someone to ask me about what I have achieved in my stay on this planet. Nothing. what is a few flirtations with literature, knowledge, pain and sweat. No blood. No tears. No medallions. No gallantry. Ah! I am disgusted with myself for being so ordinary. I deserve the void for I do not work half as hard as I could. I am wasting my life.