A lot of sleep and some crazy mathematics.A lot of orange juice and too little food.
Seems like yesterday when I defined the "Golden Rules" which I hadnever break, come what may. It seemed like crystallizing lessonslearnt from life. It seemed like I had all of it formulated. It seemedlike I had stand alone while others whithered. It seemed likehappiness to know where and what one stood for and what was worthfalling for.
Too many falls later, here I stand acknowledging a grudge againstlife. Very few things mattered and they all mattered like hell. Someother things mattered as well. But eventually they all let go of me,or rather I let go of them. Seems like meandering the course of life.But this time the rant is much more deserved.
I was talking to someone yesterday and they came to ask me, why did ittake me to say all the "norm" things. I wondered aloud, "norm". Sayswhom? Relationships are about getting the other person to respond in away you want them to, responding to the other person in a way theywant you to, isn't it? And they said, "Yes". I was terrified. whateverhappened to all those things that happen instantaneously, for one doesnot have to respond, for ones that happen because you are that way,things unknown unsaid. The chemistry as I gather better be aboutthings unsaid, emotions uncalled for, gestures happening on their own.
Been an ardent fan of chemistry. From polylactic acids to lignins, Ihave been there, but this is far more subtle. It might have escapedme. I seen people ooh-aahing in person, on phones, in books, inblogs... but they think thinking about it the same time, talking ofthe same issues is chemistry. Chemistry calls for unconditionalacceptance of the fact that the other person loves youunconditionally. It also deems a necessity of the fact that yourexistence is bound to someone else so securely that you need not lookback to see it bound and fastened, once so very often. It is aboutthat famous "leap of faith" idea that i keep harping about. It mightbe about experimentation but it has to have that spark which isinextinguishable.
There are relationships in which you do not have to think "what if" or"if he/she thinks this"... You just know whatever you are doing is ok.That relationship is the one you are looking for. Mebbe we are askingtoo much from this pitiful existence, but isn't this the big aim oflife. Isn't life supposed to provide us challenges that drive the fearour of our skins and hearts.
They asked me lately if I have written anything humorous. I want towrite funny but it is a tough ask. My current disposition does nothelp to think in pleasant funny terms. If one were to ask me who Iconsider the greatest writer, I would say, without any doubt,Wodehouse. If someone can write the way Wodehouse wrote, he ought tobe Nobel'ed. Nothing less would suffice. He makes me laugh till I acheinside. what is a greater proof. A saturnine personality like melaughing, It is a great achievement, the greatest appreciation. It iseasy to be pensive and dark. But silliness, funniness is difficult.
And then they sometimes ask me about myself. So as I say "Shoonya" isa paranoid succumbing to a rage that may or may not be murderous. Hethinks it takes forever to make his point. He loves every minute ofhis sardonic portrayal of life on life's fringes. And you can see him,as a modern archetype—a talented, disappointed man surrendering to ananger he cannot govern, an existential blackness he cannot understand.
On a happy note. No more poems.
Just one request. Go to smashits.com, search for "hamari" and listento "hamari atariya pe". If anyone has the same song by Begum Akhtar,send me the same. I had be thankful beyond belief. And if possible,try "sunte hain" by Jagjit Singh on the same site.
Till next time... if alive... we listen to the souless voices lappingthe shores of dying echoes.
Seems like yesterday when I defined the "Golden Rules" which I hadnever break, come what may. It seemed like crystallizing lessonslearnt from life. It seemed like I had all of it formulated. It seemedlike I had stand alone while others whithered. It seemed likehappiness to know where and what one stood for and what was worthfalling for.
Too many falls later, here I stand acknowledging a grudge againstlife. Very few things mattered and they all mattered like hell. Someother things mattered as well. But eventually they all let go of me,or rather I let go of them. Seems like meandering the course of life.But this time the rant is much more deserved.
I was talking to someone yesterday and they came to ask me, why did ittake me to say all the "norm" things. I wondered aloud, "norm". Sayswhom? Relationships are about getting the other person to respond in away you want them to, responding to the other person in a way theywant you to, isn't it? And they said, "Yes". I was terrified. whateverhappened to all those things that happen instantaneously, for one doesnot have to respond, for ones that happen because you are that way,things unknown unsaid. The chemistry as I gather better be aboutthings unsaid, emotions uncalled for, gestures happening on their own.
Been an ardent fan of chemistry. From polylactic acids to lignins, Ihave been there, but this is far more subtle. It might have escapedme. I seen people ooh-aahing in person, on phones, in books, inblogs... but they think thinking about it the same time, talking ofthe same issues is chemistry. Chemistry calls for unconditionalacceptance of the fact that the other person loves youunconditionally. It also deems a necessity of the fact that yourexistence is bound to someone else so securely that you need not lookback to see it bound and fastened, once so very often. It is aboutthat famous "leap of faith" idea that i keep harping about. It mightbe about experimentation but it has to have that spark which isinextinguishable.
There are relationships in which you do not have to think "what if" or"if he/she thinks this"... You just know whatever you are doing is ok.That relationship is the one you are looking for. Mebbe we are askingtoo much from this pitiful existence, but isn't this the big aim oflife. Isn't life supposed to provide us challenges that drive the fearour of our skins and hearts.
They asked me lately if I have written anything humorous. I want towrite funny but it is a tough ask. My current disposition does nothelp to think in pleasant funny terms. If one were to ask me who Iconsider the greatest writer, I would say, without any doubt,Wodehouse. If someone can write the way Wodehouse wrote, he ought tobe Nobel'ed. Nothing less would suffice. He makes me laugh till I acheinside. what is a greater proof. A saturnine personality like melaughing, It is a great achievement, the greatest appreciation. It iseasy to be pensive and dark. But silliness, funniness is difficult.
And then they sometimes ask me about myself. So as I say "Shoonya" isa paranoid succumbing to a rage that may or may not be murderous. Hethinks it takes forever to make his point. He loves every minute ofhis sardonic portrayal of life on life's fringes. And you can see him,as a modern archetype—a talented, disappointed man surrendering to ananger he cannot govern, an existential blackness he cannot understand.
On a happy note. No more poems.
Just one request. Go to smashits.com, search for "hamari" and listento "hamari atariya pe". If anyone has the same song by Begum Akhtar,send me the same. I had be thankful beyond belief. And if possible,try "sunte hain" by Jagjit Singh on the same site.
Till next time... if alive... we listen to the souless voices lappingthe shores of dying echoes.
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