Am I just a page?

The one thing I wanted to after I got my hands back.

VITAL STATISTICS

1.) Name : Mr. Shoonya....Du..uh Wassit …… it really is ..why wud I lie? ..And yes I am a really that.

2.) Birthday : 1st Jan …….. yes I expect gifts ..why else wud I tell u this?.... All thoroughbreds have the same b'day

3.) Zodiac : No Idea

4.) Age : as of today 23 years …+ some months

5.) Mental age: ummmm ….errrr….. *waaaaaaaah * sucks thumb* curls up and goes to sleep... take a guess

6.) Where do I live : India/earth/solar system/ milky way…. Yeah all these details are important …

7.) Parents : du…uh … one mom and one dad …obviously ..

8.) Siblings : one elder sis …. She is the DEVIL...* grin *

9.) Economic status: broke...broke...broke... Bike takes petrol and me booze to run...

10) Love life status: SHOONYA...nil ..nada .. zero ..zilch always has been …*sob* … damn why has no one ever realised that I am perfect boyfriend material (yes I have proof ..quizilla says so :P:P )

WHAT I LOOK LIKE

I look like I was created a lazy god ..He did not like what he was doing … No job satisfaction...hence every bit of me looks silly .. the compliment I most hear is …ur sooo …ARRGGGHHH..tear tear...

1.) Height: 5’10” …
2.) Weight : hmmm … I cud tell u ..but then I wud hafta kill u ..so I’ll just say ..A bit plump... thanks to unwholesome food... a leg accident and then a hand accident ... plus something in the genes and then also the previous hectic routine...
3.) Eyes : shape .. chinky is the term used I think only one problem ..really chinky towards the nose .. and then suddenly rounded ..looks like those ..tiny small almonds .
size : no conflicts here .okay size… *grin * i am still talking about the eyes...
color : ppl. say the black …I agree to *black* cos only the devil himself wud have totally black eyes …yes I am on first name basis with him (the devil that is )..
4.) Hair : He made it black….and dad decided that it be short... Never did I grow it... a bit like grass...*sister's version*
5.) Skin color : when born, I was the fairest, most people say.. now I am all tanned and brown... results of running in the sun and lots and lots of vitamin D
6.) face : the weirdest shape possible ..First he wanted it round ,then he decided to plonk .. so that is my face shape... a rounded plonk...
7.) nose : He gave a very poor nose...
8. ) chin : sweet small chin ....a chin with two most original dimples... Preity style.. the only thing worth it.... and useless though
9.) lips : First thin lips and then full lips ..results ... top lip short and thin ..bottom one full .. ..*waaaah* noooo symmetry
10.) frame ….: Poor genes... Could not help that.... Bulky... been stheletic without that... Nana used to call me "Rana Sanga" because of the numbers of scars I had on my shins and else where.... Can I not go on...

Okay … now lets come to the good things: D

TURN-OFFS (this is strictly about the opposite sex )
1o) Body odour.. Who said gals are supposed to smell like perfume bottles..They’re supposed to have baths like normal ppl (like me)...i dunno why they don't get this simple hygiene tip .. And ppl. who use too much deo....or Perfume ...i start sneezing
Bad breath ...yeah..me has a sensitive nose ..*Grin*

9) Gals with short stubby fingernails… .Yikes!!!

8) Gals who smoke ...she must taste like licking an ashtray ...an absolute no no

7) Dirty hair..on the head ... with dandruff ...She is supposed to be clean ...urrgghhh

6) Gals who talk a lot of nonsense and all of the lot is about the Khans and King Kongs..

5) Gals acting cool dudette..talking in broken English just to impress.. saying India is bad or backward ..and America or any other country is the land of dreams.. Hell yeah it maybe the land of ur dreams ...but there are million here ..whose dreams and realities all begin and end here there is no need to insult India.. and those very same ppl. littering the roads ..and saying ..” forget it yaar ..ppl. here will never learn” ..get them away from me

4) Also .. how about gals who go .."my roomie said this ".. "my mommie said this"... get a life. Get away from me u .u ..momma's doll.. come back when u become ur own woman.

3) A limp handshake .. clammy moist sweaty palms...euuugh ..makes me feel like i touched something slimy ..

2). Pot bellies ... flabby bodies ....this is just the sex bit …I wudn’t like to go to bed with someone who has folds of lard …. I might just get caught in one of those folds and be smothered to death.. everyone else .. what do I care ..it is ur body

1) Unfaithful women ..they shud be shot right between their legs with my Shot Gun.

TURN-ONS

1) The clean ..smell of a woman ..just after a bath .... soap and thou ..totally arousing .. the slightly damp hair ..wowee ..lemme touch please * drool*

2) Hands ... nice manicured hands .. maybe lean long fingers ....the kind u can fantasise touching you ..*shiver*

3) A woman who forces me to think ..who is as strong willed as i am ..who challenges me ..forcing me to defend my
my point of view .. .. someone I can say anything and she won’t feel bad or sulk ..cos she’ll know ..what is really lies beneath every that challenge I throw at her

4) Someone who treats me like a human being first and a man ..they treat me like the werewolf or the devil's cousin...

5) Someone who looks me straight in the eye while talking..

6) Eyes that are intense and amused …beeeg turn -on

7) Very short sleeves and some great colors... I am colorless..*drool* *evil grin*

8) A great neck.... something that can be nuzzled... can be breathed on.... ahh

9.) Tall women ..not gigantic tall ..but a woman ..who be at least 5 inches closer to me ...if not then i'll settle for three
anybody above 5'5 ..is purrfect height :D

10) lean or athletic body ..nice shoulders straight back ..Lean

MY FRIENDS
Are not :-1. ppl. with a artificial smiles ...the kind of ppl. who give u polite smiles..euugh why bother to smile ..if u don't mean it

2. anybody who doesn't look me in the eye while talking…..ppl. with shifty eyes ..and people who sulk ..i hate them ..if u have a problem with something I said ..say it to me .on my face

3. narrow minded ..religious ..bigots.. who haven't read their own religion but are forever ready to insult someone elses ..arrrggghh ..somebody kill them plz

4. ppl. who blame the west for bad influence on indian culture ...geez ..get a life u morons

5. pseudo-intellectuals ..in fact pseudo anything …and of course ..pricks ..any body who is not honest enough to say that SEX exists …don’t talk about it if u don’t want to ..but they shud not say stuff like.. …”how can u even talk about something so bad”

Are:-
1. ppl who accept me ..inspite of all my faults... who know ..i can be ..good bad and ugly .. and still are willing to be my friend ...

2.ppl. who give me my space.. and are not possessive .. e.g. stuff like.. “ur my best friend why do u talk to her then ?” ..the only way to hold on to me is to fool me into thinking that I want it

3. open minded aware ppl. who feel about things as deeply as I do .. fence sitters are not my favorite ppl.

4. ppl. with a GREAT sense of humour ..cos if they can’t laugh at themselves and at me .. they’ll always be dissatisfied with what I am

5. ppl. who are kind and honest ..and faithful

FAVE FOODS“It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for ice -cream.. to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity”
1 ) ice-cream ..Choclate ..flavour ..in a cone ..love licking it off *wink*and interesting :D
2 ) Mom makes the Greatest Chicken...
3) Tunde...tandoori chicken.. ...and .. Collectorate...tandoori fish ..or the chicken soup my mom makes ..Yummy…. in fact most things tandoori ….. love them
4) white rice .. arhar ki daal ..pickle ..curd . curd and more curd...and some vegetable cooked mom style and PAPAD..love that meal combo
5) rava masala dosa ..with sambhar and coconut chutney..
6) Most french foods... only the chicken ones
7) hot ..crisp popcorns.. while watching a movie :D
8) cold coffee ..hot coffee …coffee ..coffee ..coffee… love the taste of coffee
9 ..haven't met a fruit ..i didn't love to eat ..i can definitely survive on fruits and water :D
butt i LOVE strawberries ...love their colour ..and the taste and love the way they feel in my mouth and Mangoes.. I can live them and eat them ..ahem… …and cherries and water melon and papaya and mango and oranges and ....umm..i think u get the picture

10 ) favourite dessert has got to be custard ..or ..kheer ..umm..gajjar ka halwa ..ok ok suji ka halwa too ..Mom cals me a Cheentaa(that is an ant) Anything Sweet is this person's thing:D:D

SEX …TIES…AND MOI
Ahh did i say ties? ..naah i am not into bondage ..well ok ..errrrr.. no honey i need at least one hand to type ...tie only one ….umm damn ..where was I ? *Sheepish grin*
1.) My favourite sex toy is a woman. If you need more than that, you’re probably with the wrong woman. And if she needs more than that, she's probably with the wrong man.

2.) More comfy sleeping wearing a t-shirt and a bermuda .. but need a sheet.. ..yeah I am a cuddler ( is that a word??)..and the general consensus amongst my family ..i am eminently cuddly .

3.) I never cry ..i fight tears to the very end ..but they usually never come out .. no I don’t hide my tears like some ppl. do ..i don’t see them as a sign of weakness …. They are a part of me .. I hide something that is me ..it means I am being unfair to myself ..so I guess that makes me stronger than the ppl. who show their tears .. yeah I am delusional too

4.) I sincerely believe ..that most ppl. are good ..however deep down inside that goodness is buried and till date no one has really proved me wrong...

5.) I am a physically undemonstrative person in public … if I like u ..ur gonna be hugged ..tugged ..and generally touched when I "want" to...

6.) I never claimed to be a saint .. if anybody dares to attack me or someone close to me…..i will kick butt....and I never claim . "but they hurt me as an excuse"because I don’t believe in offering excuses for my actions …. My friends have to accept me ..and not judge .. I just give them lots of chancea to do that … cos I offer them complete acceptance they shud offer me the same

7.) Books ..music ..movies(good ones only )....everything and anything … ..i read a lot .. watch movies ..listen to all the songs that come my way ..lots and lots of favorites from every type of book or song ever written or made...

8.) I HATE movies or songs or books with happy endings..i try and avoid them ..no matter how good it is ..if it makes me feel bad or sad in the end ..i don’t like to repeat the experience.. if I want to feel happy ..i can very well read the "chicken soup for soul" ..

9.) I love each and every season .. truly enjoy all …my friends call me weird ..well they’re correct :D ..i feel ..that There's no such thing as bad weather, only inappropriate clothing.

10.) Sports are the best releases.... Steffi is the queen and Becker is the God... Statistics I chew...

AND THERE IS MORE …….
1.) kids love me ..and I love them ..no I am not a pedophile …but they follow me around and generally totally adore me …and believe me it is totally reciprocated (yes I intend to be the world’s best kid ..errr…. I mean mom * sheepish grin *)

2.) I talk a lot …but surprisingly don’t hate silences ..i feel one of the best things u can share with someone are the silences

3.) I have a vicious tongue. I can tear a person to pieces without raising my voice or becoming foul mouthed

4.) Compliments embarrass me…blush every single time someone says something nice about me

5.) Never been in love …waiting for someone I suppose mainly waiting for a gal who is able to stand up to me cos if she can’t I’ll walk all over her and won’t even notice it. and of course who has outta the above mentioned ten turn on

6.) Sleep comes easy to me …never have problems falling asleep..i guess having a clear conscience does that *evillest grin *

7.) Clothes …yeah I wear them …don’t look so surprised…and I prefer sombre and sober..Surprisingly they look very good on me

8.) Not really into jewellery though would love a bracelet with some diamonds on it.. am waiting

9.) can never wear tight clothes .. mainly cos I don’t find them comfortable

10.) I smoke, drink, don’t do drugs , curse a lot , don’t break traffic rules , don’t shoplift ..surely not a spendthrift

FRIENDS SPEAK (about me naturally )

THE GOOD“Dance with the devil and the devil don't change; the devil changes you”…

1. They say I am infectious.. even when they’re in a bad/ sad mood .. my way of looking at things always gives them a laugh .. and cheers them up . ß-poor souls they search for laughter on my doorstep

2. “ Your hubby is never going to want kids ,she’ll have such a tough time bringing u up “

3. “Will u stop tripping on every unseen stone that comes ur way ..geeez…walking with u is like walking with a one year old kid “ yeah I do that a lot …my centre of gravity is lost

4. “ Stop destorying everybod, people can bear u ill will u know”

5. “ Why do say stuff just to shock ppl. let them be.. na”

6. “ God we hope the gals u finally fall for loves u back …cos if she doesn’t we’ll hafta pick up the pieces and we don’t want to do that” <--- pfffffft cowards all of them 7. “ U are innocence and carnality in one package , damn she’ll be a lucky gal “ …<--- yeah …I blushed and I laughed and then I never mentioned this compliment again…ever ..until now….. it was embarrassing ..still is .. 8. “ we know ur not evil …so stop pretending will ya” ..<---- imagine their expressions when I am hacking their mails for more stuff *evil grin* 9. “ stop making all those noises.. Jagjit Singh is not cool” …arrggghhhhh 10. “ I love the way u smile , it is mischievous and sweet and it invites one to smile with u" THE BAD

1. “stop being so rude to people u’ve just met ..they won’t understand ur just teasing them”

2. “arrrggghhh will u stop losing ur temper so easily”

3. “ oh god …a mule is less stubborn than u “

4. “ u hate to lose don’t u ..and u hate being proven wrong”

5. “ no social graces whatsoever….. formal does not mean jeans and t-shirt”

6. “ur too lazy to even make an effort to find a gal”

7. ..i can also add being mean to the above points ..i can be really mean and nasty if I put my mind to it

THE UGLY

why someone would find me beddable(not me, my friends say this)

Alright so I was holding a gun to their temple ..but they still did say those things ..hmmmpfffff

errr.....i forget..they did say nice things that i am sure of..why don't you believe me ..grrr..ugly can be nice too ..i happen to take ugly as a compliment ..and ugly face has character :P

So I’ll talk about me again

1.) my god is within me ..i don't need to look to temples and churches or mosques to tell me what is right or not .. I just have to look inside and listen to myself

2.) every down in life is followed by an up ..like some other things we know of *wink *.. so why waste ur time and mood ,worrying about how bad things are in the present ..when u can look towards the future and feel happy that better times are coming ..sooon :D... this is not true

3. i don't believe it when ppl. say they're free spirits.. to be a true free spirit ..wud mean u have no ties .. no responsibilities ... well ok i don't want responsibilities .but i want ties (grrr.. u perverts emotional ties ..) ..yes ..i do ..anybody who claims to be a free spirit ..is either lying or is a coward who is afraid to reach out to people

4) .don’t believe in religion ..i don't need mediums or idols or elaborate rules and rituals to know how to act like a human being.. going to temples or churches has this intense sense of peace

5 ) I hate it when the innocents of the world get hurt... but I don't want to help them.... I want them to learn and remain no more innocent...

FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

1. Morning mists hanging on the hills

2. Moonlight and magic, sunsets and sunrises, the smell of dawn in the air

3. A good leather bound book

4. Watching shapes in the clouds, chasing those tufted seeds (yes yes yes ..Done)

5. Dancing in the rain (yeah I do it every chance I get) ..smell of rain falling on dry earth , jumping on rain water puddles

6. A baby’s smile , a child’s laughter

7. Running full speed in a meadow

8. Shadow Practice

9. A baby’s grip on ur finger, holding a newborn child

10. Music ..and dancing …yeah is I can hear music I will move with it …lurrrve dancing…. totally love it.. Dance is not about steps .. it's about moving your soul


GOOD(???) THINGS NEVER END (yeah more about me)

1. Am the youngest kid ..so naturally being the last kid of the entire clan was pampered and totally cosseted ..but somehow wasn’t really spoilt..and ppl. still pamper and cosset me ..am still not spoilt :D:D ..yeah so u all can go ahead and spoil me.. will ya plz plz plz

2. When I am ill just like to curl up and sleep it away ..always whine or demand attention ..and believe me not asking is the best way of getting attention :P:P (yeah I am evil )

3. Don’t believe in playing games ,simple and straightforward if I say yes ..i mean it if no I mean it too ..if I say I’ll never talk to u.. I mean it.. and ask me something if ur sure u want an answer ..cos u will get the truth

4. I want to adopt a baby girl and baby boy.. we have too much population

5. Am a shy person …will rarely make a first move towards being friends with anyone …ppl. mistake my shyness for arrogance

6. I ask ppl. for things only once …once they say no ..never ever ask again be it anything… a favour or a question ..Yeah both points 5 and 6 arise from a fear of being rejected..so I pretend not to care ..yeah I don’t see anything special in me that ppl. wud want know me better

7. Yeah I trust everybody.. my friends despair for me and watch out for me ..i just cannot understand that why people wud lie to me …cos i don’t lie to them

8. I hate it when people say nothing is the matter ..when I know something is bothering them ..i respect them more if they wud just say “yeah something troubles me but I cannot discuss it with u”

9. Cry never, laugh not easily , slow to anger, never to forget ..Mainly because I think that whatever I am angry at ... should remember what he/she has done to me :D

10. Had have a few disappointments in life..cos I don’t expect much from it ..my mom says I should have lowered my expectations cos I am lazy ..i say I haven’t .All I want is to be allowed to live life my way ..crazily paced ..i know what I want ..i know I’ll get there ..well someday I will …..stop laughing will u .. :P

only thing that saves me from being a total disaster is my sense of the ridiculous …so yeah this long list is ridiculous ..but I spent time and effort making it …so well I post it too

I am the SHOONYA.. the one and only one...