Teens to Toons

Life is too short - Scorpions Have you ever seen the morning? When the sun comes up the shore And the silence teach the beauty for the sound Have you ever sat there waiting? For the time to stand still For all the worlds and stars From turning around And you run ’cause life is too short Tomorrow I will watch the morning sun shine and I will rise to be resurrected (metaphorically)... People mail me and say they don't want to talk to me... ahh... I am tired of what people want... I am tired of all those desires and wants.. why can't it be simple... I desire to be simpler... another desire.... I should keep lesser expectations from self and yet I expect this. I am a contradiction and I am trying to resolve.. In words, I am fighting it out and not taking anything lying down... Himmat-e-marda madad-e-khudaa

another year gone waste... man, do u realise that... Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines Hanging on in quiet desperation is this techie's way The time is gone, the song is over, Thought I'd something more to say. ( borrowed from mr.waters )

If I ever wanted to be a poet, these are the lines I wanted to write. If I ever wanted to be a singer, I would have wanted to sing like this. If I ever wanted to be a musician, I would want this effect in my music. If I ever wanted to be a cinematographer, I would have wanted this feel. If I ever wanted to be a lover, I would want this intensity. The Favorite Song Posted by Hello

A night... cold and clear... makes my mind work and from all the haze I could see the beauty of cold logic that I could crystallize. Of all the things in the world, I wanted someone to answer my doubts on my abilities and wants and needs and desires. whoa! when I let her go, why do I want her back. why do I want her to be there for me. why do I expect. and lots of similar stuff which does not sound normal and reasonable, but these ail me, constantly nagging me, as i push my tail between my legs and my head into the hole like the ostrich. For once, I was tired again. So what did I crystallize that made me so clear of what I need to think when I think this and that. that is the best part. I was seeing this third rate C grade english flick, which had nothing I would call watchable and there was this dialogue on "what does one say to people who have answers to everything". I saw this guy tell the other.. you have bullshit answers to all the questions other put to you but I as...

Another twist to the tale... Another gimmick offered by life... Now it's a battle for three months, ramping up things that have been left dangling... Clearly life asks for more than what I have to offer. Have been impressed by Malcolm Gladwell and his articles in the New Yorker. That is what journalism is all about. That is how I should have been. It is not a comment on Have's and Have Not's. It is a question of will and I have to get the will back. Zindagi yun huee basar tanha, Qaafila saath aur safar tanha, Apne saaye se chaunk jaate hain, Umr guzari is kadar tanha. Raat bhar bolte hain sannaate, Raat kaati koi kidhar tanha, Din guzartaa nahin logon mein, Raat hoti nahin basar tanha. I have to get back to the faster lane and I will do it, come what may. I realize that I need to gear up and get all that I deserve to. A toast to things that are to come.

"Sometimes ... when you stand face to face with someone, you cannot see their faces." That is what happened to me, when I saw myself in the mirror. It was totally steaming in the bathroom and I was expecting to see my face with a smile because I had made an effort with my facial muscles and gotten them in a grinning position. And I got to see nothing because it was all steamed and then I wrote your name on it with my finger and all I could see were two eyes and the greyed hollowed eyes... tired eyes... sore eyes... eyes with anguish. I could not lie to myself and that was the truth. It has been a bad time ever since you moved on, leaving me no hope and no chance. But I think you did well... I slept through the weekend and life seems a beautiful thing today. The IBM machines are not a delight to work on. They make too much noise and I hate their displays. but their configs are good. I would have loved them more, had you been here. I was talking to a colleague of mine and he ...

As I cough and make others look at me, I feel mad at myself from having gotten up from the bed. It has been one of those wonderful moments in my life when I could think and do as I please. As I got delirious and in my delirium, did what I did not even in my dreams, I called out to you, I touched you and I made you mine, over and over, time and again. That was what I should have been doing. Itane mas-ruf the ham jaane kii taiyaarii mein khade the tum aur tumhein dekhne kaa waqt na thaa. Two days of intense fever and quite a few vomits, I am cleansed (hopefully) of whatever I owe you. I took it in the right manner and I took it in the right spirit. who better than Hemingway and Gunther Grass to keep me company. Now that you have gone, never to come back again, Do not come back. ranjish hi sahi dil hi dukhaane ke liye aa aa phir se mujhe chhod ke jaane ke liye aa pahale se maraasim na sahi phir bhi kabhi to rasm-o-rahe duniyaa hi niibhaane ke liye aa kis kis ko bataaye...

I was thinking of putting up my new piece... It was one of those things which would have given an idea of how radically different I could think... but it was not to be. An old acquaintance.. a friend back from the dead... A person who never mailed me first... it was always me who was expected to take the initiative... No. I am being harsh. She must have talked to me on her own on several occasions. Infact, it was 8th Jan 2002 when someone contacted me at 5:30 in the morning, waking me from the trance I was in, reading some stupid computer thing. The "netsend" asked for something called Aspen. I was hardly the person anyone would ever have asked for such a thing. With no deception, the messages told me the truth and I was surprised. Things happened and they were good, for I was in a transition then. Things came to a jam for no fault of mine and I did not even bother patching up. I thought that would show me as vulnerable. I was a kid then and am a kid now. I learn and learn...

I state this and I stand by these words of mine. Anything, nothing can change this... I will live a life as I choose to... I might regret my choices and I might hate myself for them, but that is how I choose to be and that is how it is going to be... yeh naa thii hamaari kismet ki visaal-e-yaar hotaa, agar aur jeete rehte, yehi intezaar hotaa, kahoon kisse mey ki kyaa hai, shab-e-gham buree balaa hai, mujhe kyaa buraa thaa marnaa. agar ek baar hotaa There are times in one's life, when it is necessary to decide and I did. I am looking forward to things in future and I am hopeful...

Chaand ke saath kai dard puraane nikale... kitne gham they, jo tere gham ke bahaane nikale... Ab to rotaa bhi hoon to tasalli nahin hoti... Kitnaa ro doon ki tum yaad naa aao... Kitne saalon baad nikale hain yeh aansoo daaman bhigone... aur ab jab nikale hain to zaalim rukte hi nahin... You are the world to me... and as I say this.. I feel the torment which I always imagined as the greatest pain... Now I am too tired... I have aged in last five days and I feel tears welling up inside me... I have been a rock and now I am nothing... that is what you were to me... Somerset wrote once, "There is no cruelty greater than a woman's to a man who loved her and whom, she does not love anymore. She has no kindness then, no tolerance even. She has only an insane irritation." Can you not be cruel to me... You have treated me with more affection that I ever deserved... Please make me mad at you... Make me feel ill and make me feel bad... so that I can get over you... I...