Teens to Toons

There has always been a time when we think of "what if". There should always be moments in life about which we have to know and think, seldom, in retrospect, about what if? Thats ok, as long as it does not take control of our lives. Thats ok as long as life does not circle aimlessly around forever till eternity. There can be many what ifs, but still if it comes to me, there will be one which reminds me of the stupidity in ego-bred individuals like me. I was sitting across this very charming lady and I ask her places to go in a particular city. She tells me about the pubs and discotheques and such and such. And I lie there thinking of those. And then I go to them, with friends, alone, in groups... and then she years later, calls up and says why did you not go out with me? And was I shocked? I was rocked. Since then, it has been a what if moment. A true classic what if moment.

I..... I am moving out of my comfort zone. I have decided not to be an academic focussed person. Now lets get down to the murkier parts of life. Life where things are not just self-decided. They do not depend on how hard you work, how much effort you put in, how much of those grey cells you have and are willing to kill. It just does not matter what you have, what matters is how much can you show, how much can you forego, how much can you forgive and how much well can you pretend. Life is worth living. I have been duped and dumped. A silly dame tells me that I ain't good enough for her, when I did never ask her for anthing. I have been made to feel bad. I have been made to beg for forgiveness, when I did nothing wrong. I have been made to do a lot of things that ain't in my comfort zone. I was not in my comfort zone. Now I am changing the gears. Lets assume, there is something to lose. Lets assume. Those who know me, know that I ain't afraid of losing things in life. That i...

I had be the first person to accept that I am imperfect... I had tell you my faults... I had be the one to try not to be imperfect... But in life, I have failed miserably to trod the path I have set for myself. I can cry and wail, but I won't do that. Between Rationality and Idealism, I am stuck and I make choices that I regret. My relationships have been a disaster. Never I have been good at making the other people happy. Never have I been able to make them mine, in a way that I would have wanted to. Mebbe something lacks in me. Something really does. But I exist and there I am alive. Help me God make the right choices. I beg of you. I beg tonight.

In times of strife... I have been working harder.. thinking harder.. taking a lot of criticism in my stride... it has been a trying time... it has been a tough time... people have been insensitive, upright obscene... but I have been keeping cool... and in Europe, it has been tougher with no one to talk to... Keeping it in place... keeping it slow and cool.. lazing around... The motto can be... "Just keep it going, while I am alive.." Love me, I want to live on... Some lines while I am here.... Still ALIVE...

Being a dick isn't easy... One has to swallow a lot of pride and emotions to be one... In fact playing any role of a human is kinda difficult, if one wants to be perfect. Messing things up the right way, like one can't unscramble scrambled eggs.. is the way to go... then one has to stand there and watch it all happen and keep saying sorry. That's the beauty of the entire thing. Being a dick... it has a beauty. You stand there and make yourself so very visible... just like one is inside the jeans... that one has to just open up their mouth and squirt... Being a dick... ahh and ohhs of life make perfect sense, if one starts to imagine being a dick. Dickiness is infact a way of life. It can be a religion. Mebbe I can start it. Mebbe I had be the one, perfect for it. Dickiness... leads to a better life, a perfect harmony between nature and oneself. So here is one to being a dick... aloha

There’s always going to be somebody who is making money faster, running the mile faster or what have you. So in a human sense, once you get something that works fine in your life, the idea of caring terribly that somebody else is making money faster strikes me as insane