Skip to main content

For the love of god...

It was a great idea. Economterics class.
The concept was to determine the uncertainty of a model... any model... and identify its "goodness"...
It dawned upon me to use Heisenberg's Uncertainty principle to determine the uncertainty in Black-Scholes model...
I sounded the idea to Abhishek and we both spent hours on it..
just before exams... a chance to meet the glory... of being remembered for the right reasons... making our lives worthwhile... Fuck exams...
And after six hours of mind numbing... we came up to the solution and alas...
It was a derivation of Gauss's Classical Linear Regression Model...
How I cringed... I cried... after a long time for a long time...
I was certain I had messed up my moment of truth... the faith was gone...
Such moments are rare and they define all the burden of mediocrity that we carry..

Darkness and Numbness prevailed... I should have been born before Gauss...
Anyhow I came up with a new incremental thing on Black-Scholes and that makes me happy... I have been having a number of ideas and I feel that this is the time in my life when I can contribute.. when I can make a difference and it has taken hold of me like never before.. the madness has prevailed... and Sahi is there to take me to destination...

We will do it.. we might end up as nobodies but the satisfaction of knowing that I am working towards it.. provides me with sleepless nights and peaceful sleep when i can sleep...

So here it goes...
I wish you all the luck Jhai...
It might not end as wonderful as I want to... But it will someday and I will fight...

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can life teach?

It actually began, quite reluctantly. Unnecessary as it may seem, life teaches you what you allow it to teach. Even Life cannot teach you what it offers you. One has to let himself dissolve into the experience and let it sink in, and that I might call religion or education. Whatever the other person is willing to accept. Nay. Does it matter? Nay. Life is about teaching oneself. Being a self-thought-taught "person", picking up bits and pieces from various experiences, I tread on a path; I have myself laid out for myself. Never have I asked, in other words, begged for words, from "messiahs". Never did I think myself of having enough virtue, call it patience, to learn from others. So "rich" were my experiences. Things change, dynamically. Responding to an open question, throwing caution to the winds, I immersed myself into a debate, with people who thought, had streamlined their thinking apparatus and abilities. Gradually, they pestered; read "lee...
3 comments
Read more

Can you hear me?

When the last tree has fallen, When the last drops of water are polluted, When the last bird ceases to sing, Will “they” realize that money cannot be eaten. Reading these somewhat crazy lines, I was joyous, at being finally able to have convinced myself, that this human race has faintest of hopes of living out the new century. I had been troubled for a pretty long time at, what seems to me, a race to extinction. I am an educated, liberal and informed individual. Having been educated at the best of the institutions, I developed a deep admiration for Mother Nature and her so “wily” ways. Listening to my Guru and his talks on “biomimetic” methods, I sensed a deep concern in him. Of late, all he talked of was “Green” Chemistry. I connect to people, people my age and people “not” my age, irrespective of who and what they are, thanks to my rootless upbringing. I used to be appalled at how short sighted “genuinely” gifted men can be. Talks of Dollar salaries, Ivy League scholarsh...
3 comments
Read more

The void...

I feel empty. I feel raw. I feel rotten. I feel like not feeling. I have nothing to show, if someone to ask me about what I have achieved in my stay on this planet. Nothing. what is a few flirtations with literature, knowledge, pain and sweat. No blood. No tears. No medallions. No gallantry. Ah! I am disgusted with myself for being so ordinary. I deserve the void for I do not work half as hard as I could. I am wasting my life.
3 comments
Read more