Teens to Toons

Somehow I just can't bring myself to perform in Stats papers. I just mess them. I don't know why? I just don't know. Math is a dream to me. So is life. Maybe I have just not oriented myself to perform in exams. I have done well in all subjects, but not stats. I have failed to perform. People came up to me to tell me that it is not the end of the world. And I wonder what they mean. Is this the beginning or the end of the world? Stats is just not my cup of tea in exams. Else I can think and dream of methods properly and beautifully. Maybe it takes me time to find the inherent beauty in the effort put into developing Stats. Maybe I start living with it. I am tired of doing math papers. I am seriously tired. Never was performing in math an ego trip for me. This time I was really afraid. I did not know what was happening. I knew all the stuff as I had done it a few times and that is what I fear. If I do not get the inherent beauty in a method, i just seem not to understand it an...

This is a post that needs to be written. We are five IITK people in our section at this place. And then there is this course called QAM taught by a professor whose ability to make a mockery of our brain is unbelievable. In the 60 people in our class, everyone has reconciled to the fact that he sucks and there is no point arguing. I realized in the last class, that we five are the only ones who point his mistakes to him. I know he is going to screw us all, but we keep doing it, despite resolutions not to do it. Mebbe it is something that has been ingrained in us at IITK. The inability to stand shit is ingrained in us. That is a bad omen of things to come. We just can't stand mediocrity. Mediocrity makes me cringe. Mediocrity makes me afraid. The reason why I never went for a PhD. I had be dead if it happened to me. Anil and Abhishek have basically took him apart. Mayank has questioned him time and again. Come on guys, we need to learn to live with stupidity. We can't escpae it. ...

It has been so long since I knew you... Knew you... because I thought I knew you... It has been a rotten time, a purely rotten time... ever since you have changed. Ever since life took away the surest signs of being in my control. People have changed and I guess, I have too. mainly it is the mania in me to be really sure of what I say. maybe I am not so sure now. There is very little hope and all that hope is now long gone. But you have attributed things to me that are true and false at the same time. Let me be what I am, I can be and what I want to be. Let me be me.

My favorite chess quotes: "Remember, that good moves come from intelligence and not from memory!" Alberic O'Kelly "In order to create a work of art a player needs time. And that is only possible in the classical time controls. If you remove the beauty and deepness of chess it becomes a circus act." Vladimir Kramnik "Blitz kill ideas." Bobby Fischer "Chess is mental masturbation." Bobby Fischer "I think it's almost clear now that the game is drawn theoretically." Bobby Fischer "Lose with grace and resign in a timely manner. If you are a lot of material down and don't have sufficient compensation, it is time to lay down your arms. This way you show your respect for both chess and your opponent." Svetlana Matveeva "Players who are devoted to certain opening systems know how unpleasant it can be to play against oneself in the purely psychological sense." Efim Geller "The better player will win with eithe...

ye daaG daaG ujaalaa, ye shab_gaziidaa sahar wo intazaar thaa jis kaa, ye wo sahar to nahii.n ye wo sahar to nahii.n jis kii aarazuu lekar chale the yaar ki mil jaayegii kahii.n na kahii.n falak ke dasht me.n taro.n kii aaKharii ma.nzil kahii.n to hogaa shab-e-sust mauj kaa saahil kahii.n to jaa ke rukegaa safinaa-e-Gam-e-dil jawaa.N lahuu kii pur-asaraar shaaharaaho.n se chale jo yaar to daaman pe kitane haath pa.De dayaar-e-husn kii be-sabr Khwaab-gaaho.n se pukaratii rahii.n baahe.n, badan bulaate rahe bahut aziiz thii lekin ruKh-e-sahar kii lagan bahut qarii.n thaa hasiinaan-e-nuur kaa daaman subuk subuk thii tamannaa, dabii dabii thii thakan sunaa hai ho bhii chukaa hai firaq-e-zulmat-e-nuur sunaa hai ho bhii chukaa hai wisaal-e-ma.nzil-o-gaam badal chukaa hai bahut ahl-e-dard kaa dastuur nishaat-e-wasl halaal-o-azaab-e-hijr-e-haraam jigar kii aag, nazar kii uma.ng, dil kii jalan kisii pe chaaraa-e-hijraa.N kaa kuchh asar hii nahii.n kahaa.N se aaii nigaar-e-sabaa, kidhar ko gaii ...

Couldn't help but remember the poem (by the same name) in the film. It was written by Dilip Chitre. chakravyuh mein ghusne se pehle main kaun tha aur kaisa tha yeh mujhe yaad hi na rahega chakravyuh mein ghusne ke baad mere aur chakravyuh ke beech sirf ek jaanleva nikat-ta thi iska mujhe pata hi na chalega chakravyuh se nikalne ke baad main mukt ho jaoon bhale hi phir bhi chakravyuh ki rachna mein fark hi na padega marun ya maarun maara jaoon ya jaan se maardun iska faisla kabhi na ho paayega soya hua aadmi jab neend se uthkar chalna shuru karta hai tab sapno ka sansar use dobara dikh hi na paayega us roshni mein jo nirnay ki roshni hai sab kuchh samaan hoga kya? ek palde mein napunsakta ek palde mein paurush aur theek taraazu ke kaante par ardh satya

Kaanch ki band khidkiyon ke peeche , tum baithee ho ghut-no main muh chupaye kya hua yadi hamare tumhare beech ek bhi shabd nahin hai. Mujhe jo kehna hai keh jaaonga... yahan, is tarah andekha mera khada hona matr ek gandh ki tarah tumhare bheeter bahar bhar jayega... Kyonki jab ghut-no se sar uthaogi tub bahar meri aakriti nahin yeh dhundhli si shaam aur aanch per jaagi ek dhundhali si bhaap, dekh sakogi jise is andhere main pighla-kar main choudh gaya hoonga -Sarveshwardayal Saxena

Bas ab bujh nahin sakti pyaas... Us dard ka mujhe aaj bhi hai ehsaas... Kabhi mujhse aa ke sapno mein mil... Meri sirf itni sii khwahish... kar do poori... Peenak mein guzarte hain woh mere kuche se... kahaaron ko kandhaa badalne nahin dete (Ghalib)