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Rash and me

So that was how the past month was like.

What was the best bit?
. Because as much as I like thinking of myself as a loner, I am not one.
· Because as much as I like having my space, I want to share the wonders around me with people I feel comfortable with.
· Because as much as I like to sit and read, I like trudging up a mountain path that is crossed by little rivulets better.
· Because untamed wilderness sends a sharper thrill down my back than pretty manicured gardens.
· Because the water at home is not recycled…

I sit here waiting
Waiting for something to change
The change I aspire, the change I need
Is a change I cannot comprehend

I have been asked to get my act together
To put my ‘talents’ to use…
What talents I wonder
What will I find as I delve deeper into me

I know myself
Maybe I don’t

I see …Sweet faces, brilliant smiles, gurgling babies, swaying trees, floating clouds…

I smell… pollution, flowers, shampoo in wet hair, henna, perfume, sweat, open gutters…

I hear… alarms, wind, friends, laughter, music, trains, joy, distress, prayer calls, voices…

I taste… mum’s food, tunde's kebabs, ice cream, defeat, happiness, bitterness, bile…

I feel… delight, depression, love, envy, fear, gentle, harsh, numb, creative…

My senses are all fine… then what the hell is wrong? Why do I feel like I am not alive? Not in the physical sense…not in any tangible sense. Days merge seamlessly into one another, each as similar as siblings…

Momentary joy
Momentary peace
Moments of strength
And sometimes…weak

A meaningless graph
An effortless living
Noisy calm
Silent screams

Meaningless, hollow existence.

..... I need some rest and some help... so you up there... when do we meet next...

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