Teens to Toons

Am home... on account of my mother having fractured her hand... Now the funny part is coming home... When you leave home... your identity is packe din bags and cartons and shelved. When you come home, you find all things .. old and musty... in cartons... and if you open one... ahh the memories they come flooding back... the old newspapers in which you got published, the table tennis rubbers you won tournaments with, the letters, the flowers, the hankerchiefs... the broken pens, the old reports, the fiery ideas, old business plans, the diaries and journals... the penknives, the plaster-of-paris items, the photographs.. Then there is this comp.. A vintage 1999, 733 Mhz Pentium III... converted to a cluster (married to an older computer..sister's.. 1997 Pentium II 350 Mhz).. dual boot, running linux and windows... Ahh this computer.. it made me alivbe... the hacks i did.. the pranks i did... the hours i spent on it.. laboring though linux codes... those beautiful emacs windows... and ...

Have you ever been in a car, all thoughtful... and then suddenly you find yourself veering away to the other lane... and someone honking madly ... aiming for your throat. That is what happened to me in life generally.. I started slowly and then I flourished and slowly it began to make unsustainable demands on my time and I curtailed them one by one... thinking I was making a sane decision. And then One day i found I had left everything behind... Now its no more me... its tiem to reinvent... Chalo koi naa... Aapne agar Jodhaa Akbar dekhii ho ... kaise dekhenge.. abhi release nahin huee... Kal raat humne premiere dekhaa Jodhaa Akbar ka. One of my clients gave me couple of tickets to that movie. A four hour non-stop nothing movie. I mean, it had no issues. Things weren't really bad. Don't you people reading this get mad at me for finding the movie good. The last movie I liked was "Jab We Met". I went in with zero expectations. Especially as I had seen one Kareena Kapoor ...

I have realized something ... today I have been cribbing about life for the past year.. as is evident from my blog... I have been cribbing a lot... blaming things here and there for not working out... And I have realized that it is my stupidity... it is my fault that I have not kept myself totally immersed into what I have been doing... or maybe I am not doing what i want well enough or maybe I am not doing what I want... Whatever it is .. the fault is within me and the solution too... So a time to change perspective and a time to change for the better... So Cheers to a new life and a better life and a better struggle... and Once I had said.. its the path of the struggle and style of the struggle ... that matters and not the end... and I have relearnt that.. and all I ask from God is that I want to have that style and vigour to keep on going... So cheers again... And to those silent few who keep coming to my unknown blog... Thanks...

When things go wrong as they sometimes will, When the road you are trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh. When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but do not quit. Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about, When he might have won had he stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow - You may succeed with another blow. Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint of the clouds of doubt. And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far. So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - It's when things seem worst that you must not quit. Author Unknown

Slept late that night... after having watched "before sunset" and felt like life was going no where... bad dreams and worse... Woke up to my room mate.. frantic... Business Standard Screams "Derivatives Banned by RBI". I was like... let me sleep over this bad dream.. two years of an MBA spent over hope of derivatives. Fighting it out in the mind and placements as well. Refusing good offers for a good profile... and it ends up as being a non-happening field... Came to office.. and no work... no clients calling in... and then Mom calls up.. saying Dad ka accident ho gayaa hai... kuchh karo... Dad apparently called up and told that he was in an accident and then the phone got disconnected. Sat there on the edge of my chair... for three hours waiting for any response from Dad... waiting with my credit card in hand and the web site open... A number of feelings... An introspection into what is important and what is not... A feeling of waste... Finally Dad came home, not a...