Skip to main content

I have been foolish

Maybe it's the fever or it is pure plain foolishness on my part. I obtained her number in America through a friend masquerading as her long lost friend. It was simple. The plot was carefully thought over. It was vintage me. And then with the 10 digit number in my hand, I was shaking with nervousness. Would she remember me or would she have forgotten me? And then sanity prevailed. The number went into my phonebook and I just shut everything up. It seems she has not reclaimed her logins. It seems she does not have any time to chat. It seems America has totally absorbed her. It seems too bad. Anyway it's her birthday and which I always pretended to forget so that it would avail me an opportunity to talk to her for a longer time. So what do I do now? Do I just phone her out of the blue. Do I mail her to the mail boxes which she will never open again. Do I send her a gift.
Nothing. I am going to put an end to everything. It is right and it is sensible. That is me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Can life teach?

It actually began, quite reluctantly. Unnecessary as it may seem, life teaches you what you allow it to teach. Even Life cannot teach you what it offers you. One has to let himself dissolve into the experience and let it sink in, and that I might call religion or education. Whatever the other person is willing to accept. Nay. Does it matter? Nay. Life is about teaching oneself. Being a self-thought-taught "person", picking up bits and pieces from various experiences, I tread on a path; I have myself laid out for myself. Never have I asked, in other words, begged for words, from "messiahs". Never did I think myself of having enough virtue, call it patience, to learn from others. So "rich" were my experiences. Things change, dynamically. Responding to an open question, throwing caution to the winds, I immersed myself into a debate, with people who thought, had streamlined their thinking apparatus and abilities. Gradually, they pestered; read "lee
3 comments
Read more

Can you hear me?

When the last tree has fallen, When the last drops of water are polluted, When the last bird ceases to sing, Will “they” realize that money cannot be eaten. Reading these somewhat crazy lines, I was joyous, at being finally able to have convinced myself, that this human race has faintest of hopes of living out the new century. I had been troubled for a pretty long time at, what seems to me, a race to extinction. I am an educated, liberal and informed individual. Having been educated at the best of the institutions, I developed a deep admiration for Mother Nature and her so “wily” ways. Listening to my Guru and his talks on “biomimetic” methods, I sensed a deep concern in him. Of late, all he talked of was “Green” Chemistry. I connect to people, people my age and people “not” my age, irrespective of who and what they are, thanks to my rootless upbringing. I used to be appalled at how short sighted “genuinely” gifted men can be. Talks of Dollar salaries, Ivy League scholarsh
3 comments
Read more

The void...

I feel empty. I feel raw. I feel rotten. I feel like not feeling. I have nothing to show, if someone to ask me about what I have achieved in my stay on this planet. Nothing. what is a few flirtations with literature, knowledge, pain and sweat. No blood. No tears. No medallions. No gallantry. Ah! I am disgusted with myself for being so ordinary. I deserve the void for I do not work half as hard as I could. I am wasting my life.
3 comments
Read more