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Jettison

I woke up at 5 I think. I lay thinking. Thinking hard.
It was kind of hysteria. I got up. Looked at "things to do" list, I always prepare, never follow.
A weekend wasted, viral again, the same symptoms that allow me creativity did not this time. Was too afraid, fearful.

So there I sat. I walked and paced thinking furiously. I needed that. Inevitable things come and they come inevitably. I mean, one always knew but never anticipated in such minute magnificent way. It could have been playing ghar-ghar. I was always the kind to soak up a lot of everything. I was the kind who had stay alone, making my own notes, and once in a while, sit down and revisit the entire collection of nostalgia. My plans which are unborn, still-born. My longings, untouched, unkempt.

Then I decided to get all my papers in order. Everything was mish-mash. There was an entire history of my life for two years. The ideas, the desires, the hysteria was all pervading. And then I came across a notes print out. "Trading and Hedging Options" I was like where are we going. And there I saw the naivete of a person with too much to prove. The claims. The gusto. It was bravo.

I sat down and revised all that had passed me by on this journey where I had so many notions broken and remade. On the last two pages was a furiously scribbled post. I was like, Have i ever posted that one. Did it get born?

So I sat down and checked. http://teentotoons.blogspot.com/2007/10/i-asked-him-about-his-enemies-he-began.html there it was. So long ago.

Contemplated how people around me would respond about my blog. Contemplated and then logged off.

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