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Two years and a day

I have often believed that life is about moments.
Moments that have defined us, our way of life, our life... in totality.
Sometimes I even have this defining sense of the absurdity that pervades my world.

Two years and a day to this day... I changed. It was like the changing of a course by a river. It was akin to tectonic shifting of the plates beneath.

The day she just went away. I still remember it crystal. I remember it like no other thing in my life. The pain that engulfed me, dulled my senses, lowered me into a state of constant irritation, pain and anger. I was pulled into the abyss of irrationality. I promised myself and repromised, but to no avail.

She was to me, a lot more than I gave her credit for, and certainly far far more than what she thought. In a certain sense, she was more to me than me myself. Somehow I think I had never been able to express that. I still can't. I take people who I take to, I consider them mine, thus regardless of them needing emotional support, I just take them for granted. I just let them be there for me. I become selfish and selfless at the same time. Maybe this is just an excuse, maybe I am lying but that is what I feel.

In a life where I thought I would not encounter much pain, for the simple reason that I have logic on my side, I have suffered. This was inevitable in retrospect. Taking people for granted is definitely not the way to do it.

Have to end it here... cannot take it anymore...
Laterz

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