Skip to main content

Ten thing about bombay locals

If ever Govt of Maharashtra imposes a congestion tax, i am going to supremem court to ask them to pay the local travellers, a rebate in income tax, for bearing the ignominy of travelling in that tin.

The top ten things I like about Bombay Locals -

- Free Body Massage

- Free Foot Massage

- Crushed Shirts (In sync with fashion)

- One is forced keep themselves clean and smelling nice (One has to smell the odor of their Deodorants, while smelling their armpits, just to avoid other nice smelling people)

- Free Face Scrubbing from people's butt (in case you are lucky to be sitting)

- One has to keep fit while trying to get in and out (both are different techniques and take time to master)

- One learns never to board Virar local

- If one is gay, he is pretty comfy. One does not have to pretend no tto be touching, everything you have is touching spmething that someone has.

- There is complete lack of sexual moves (No women, so it keeps men to themselves and harmless)

- You get to know how dangerous women can get. (Ever try to see women thrusting their pelvises to get into the local and you would know, why they are deprived of "you know what".

Anyone who has a problem with congestion, Can I honor me, by allowing them to ride on Local with me and enjoy a mumbai morning. I had change planet for avoiding this phenomenon. It stinks and it smells. How the fuck could they allow fish to be carried on trains. I want some people to look at the cleanliness aspect of this. And the best part, you will always find yourself not the worst smelling guy in the crowd.

it makes you feel better, only if you were a Pig.

Oink Oink.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Raizada Heritage Fund and Trip to Woodlands

I have a confession to make. We don’t have a sofa at home. We seriously don’t.. Over the last two years, whenever Vartika has broached the touchy topic of a Sofa buy, I have ended up doing rants on how the money saved on not buying a Sofa would be able to feed us for a month, in case startup went bust. (And no, I was not counting on dumb UPA government allowing Sharad Pawar to make billions running amok on the vegetable and cereals market and looting us. In that case, count that sum to last for mere 15 days. That rant is for a separate day) Imagine a 30-40k sofa and me eating it, like the borers mostly do. Tough to imagine and sad to think of. So I return to the sofa tales. Vartika knew I had make her do with those mattresses. You know how dumb I am, relentlessly pointless. Unfortunately I ran into an Ariean, and that too my Mom. She looked at me and the mattresses and then again at me, and I went ballistic. From the sensibility of an accountant, to the eruditeness of an economist (De...
Post a Comment
Read more

Time for Retrospection

Withered away, the burning heat of the day Evening silently soaked the heat within Wearing the diamonds came the night O’ Soul why are you silent, smile!! Three things have affected me lately. Hope, fear and death. Silently they walked past me in the night and left me awake. Gasping for breath, a parched throat and burning eyes. These days have been gloomy because days are heavy with tension. Work and nothing else. I need to relax and let the natural “me” take over. But it does not happen. Rather I cannot let that happen. Reading a lot these days has been a need. A need because I need to exist in an unreal world where I can be what I want to be. It would be difficult to be that in the real world. I even pretend to dream these days. Pretense has become my entire life. Every moment of my life is “pretending” to be me. I am doing it for the fact that people might not recognize the “real” me if I were to show them who I am. Living a life where everything is drive...
2 comments
Read more

Ah'men!!

Last weekend, I was thinking about how people tend to post more about negative experiences in their lives than about positive ones. Today is no exception. I feel kind of bad about having such a negative attitude, but writing about things makes me feel better and refreshed too. The first time was after Puchee told me that I have a super ego and that I have an inferiority complex. Personally, I don't think I have a super ego or a complex, but every time I hear him them say that, I feel as if there's something wrong with me; as if a part of me is somehow wrong. Those feelings of not being normal have been accumulating, and today they seem just too much to ignore. I finally asked him why he thought I had a super ego and an inferiority complex. He said that I seem to get really defensive when we talk about people, people we know and discuss them. I t is that I always tend to blast them away and their accomplishments. He was specific to the way I talk about women in general. H...
3 comments
Read more