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Wisdom-Un-uh

The only way to get some wisdom is to be taken apart, strangled and when you have submitted, long afterwards, would you be able to piece it together.. and then you would be proud of it… or unproud of it… but the act of surrender to the act, complete obeisance to the horror happening… and then accepting it… gives you wisdom…

It is in fact a hard earned thing… a thing that is sometimes worth dying for… loving for.. leaving for… but ultimately things have a way of coming round.. in their own way.. unsettling the apple cart that has been so steadily delivering for you all these years and then it overturns and there you die by your cleverness… sometimes it takes you too far and then its too late to return…

And then there is madness… it takes you where it pleases and it is a short route and you know it.. but submitting to madness is infact a wonderful… it takes away the pain.. till you die or repent.. which is the same thing… in almost all ways…

Does it work for you when you are supposed to be somebody’s, howsoever desirable.. a backup option.. there is nothing that is as bad as that…that is when you bend lower than you have ever been… and that you never emerge from the experience, howsoever damn smart, intelligent and savvy..you might sound.. that is infact a total surrender… that is letting yourself down in entirety..

I had never forgive myself.. but then I had never think of me in any other sense, except a renegade…a man who chose to become a slave than fight… fight it even if it takes a heavier toll than that can be imagined…

A man can chose to have everything by letting go of everything and having nothing.. but when he desires something so much that he lets it be the centerpiece of their life.. it is then that he surrenders to the charm, the sting, the life giving poison, the latent heat, the unforgiven sin, the cardinal error… a pain that lasts through your veins, long after they have stopped sucking your blood, your emotions, your passions, your drive, your energy.. that is how people make a mistake, by accepting a mistake.. mistake not, the failure to accept a mistake, and living it… that is what takes away the element that makes men immortal, for they are meant to live for meaningful pursuits… I sound like a madman.. but when you have been through it.. it means a whole mot more, than what I keep saying.. a wisdom is gathered, madness seizes you… a different cause-effect mechanism.. a madness is better than wisdom, for it allows you to die once…

Some truths are so painful that only shame can help you live with them. Some things are just so sad that only your soul can cry for you… (last two lines from Shantaram)

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