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Your vengeance shall be mine

I read these lines today on someone's blog.
Instead I had like to say that I like vengeance. The people I thought were kids are taking decisions to settle... and I stand alone letting people go.
I draw up some courage once in a while to say what I want to. Courage is not what I lack. Courage no.. not courage. It is an absolute disaster when I try to take some efforts towards making up for lost relationships. I wonder if letting go all those people was worth being alone... or in solitude as i prefer to call it and concentrate on betas and cointegration and commodity futures. Does that make my life or do they?
I am working hard no doubt, on the wrong things.. but I am making a mark. Four papers in a semester with a killer load and still the will to continue. That shows how much hunger I have and the load of ideas that need to be implemented. Hunger for work, recognition and desires.
I have been reading about all kinds of things. All things which make sense and no sense at all. For example, last night I was reading about life and times of porn queens. Not porn!!! i was wondering what drove them to the art they pursue... is it just money. Same way as I want my intellect to outshine others... same way they are trying with their bodies and acting... who says porn does not need acting.
But then that is much much more natural... I don't know how natural it would be for them in front of the camera.
I am ecstatic about the courses at ESSEC... I love them.. I had write at length about them sometime.
There is a lot of things that I need to say.. and I have been saying that for quite some time... i hate it when someone sends me a message about their near dear ones nearby and thus unable to call me. Am I, for when they are not around.

In the rustling of the leaves,
In the white light of the moon,
I dream of a snow white mountain,
and words and words are all i see,
Should I wrap you in my verses,
and let you go... forever...

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