In times of concious desire for pain, a man seeks loneliness. Loneliness when desired by a human, and is self imposed, is solitude. This is probably the time, when one turns to god or to oneself, seeking answers in a process of self discovery. Ultimately, a person wants to know why is he desiring the pain.
It is said of man, that he seldoms does anything, not for his own sake. Almost all our actions are based on seeling for results and have a hidden ulterior motive in the times to come. All our efforts are directed in a way to achieve a goal and in a sense, we become puppets to out whims and desires, thus causing ourselves to be motivated, influenced and manipulated for the result we seek. So is it pain, what I seek?
Sometimes they say "follow the heart" and sometimes they say "follow the mind". I hardly know what am I following, but the desire in me, rightnow is to feel the nothingness and soak up all the pain, I can inflict upon myself. Nobody can desire pain, willingly. Some seek it to drown the emotions, some seek it for the alleviation of pain itself.
My world is based on ego, no doubt and I myself accept that. I deny, what i feel, because I desire the power in me to create a world, which would of my own doing. I desire to achieve and transform myself. Is there anything wrong in that?
I think, it is this. My future is based on my past and my desires in the past are binding me to achieve and fulfil them. but then when I arrive at that goal, I strive for the next and so on.
It is said of man, that he seldoms does anything, not for his own sake. Almost all our actions are based on seeling for results and have a hidden ulterior motive in the times to come. All our efforts are directed in a way to achieve a goal and in a sense, we become puppets to out whims and desires, thus causing ourselves to be motivated, influenced and manipulated for the result we seek. So is it pain, what I seek?
Sometimes they say "follow the heart" and sometimes they say "follow the mind". I hardly know what am I following, but the desire in me, rightnow is to feel the nothingness and soak up all the pain, I can inflict upon myself. Nobody can desire pain, willingly. Some seek it to drown the emotions, some seek it for the alleviation of pain itself.
My world is based on ego, no doubt and I myself accept that. I deny, what i feel, because I desire the power in me to create a world, which would of my own doing. I desire to achieve and transform myself. Is there anything wrong in that?
I think, it is this. My future is based on my past and my desires in the past are binding me to achieve and fulfil them. but then when I arrive at that goal, I strive for the next and so on.
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